After each, I’ll share a list of questions I would ask these coaches if I were coaching them on their speaking.

The goal of my questions would be to get these coaches off of auto-pilot, and establish a clear connection between intent (or lack thereof) and impact. And hopefully, get them curious about how they might do it differently to be more effective.

If you or your team/organization could benefit from this type of coaching, please email me at FitToSpeak@gmail.com.

Here we go…

Video #1 | Head Coach Kevin Stefanski, Atlanta Falcons (Time to Watch 3:41)

Questions I want to ask Coach Stefanski…

• What went well? What do you want to do differently next time and why?

• How might it change the experience for your players if you stopped walking around and tried delivering from one or two key spots—spending a little time at each before moving?

• How do you think it would improve your team’s listening experience if you were to cut out the “so” at the start of your points and the “okay” and “right” at the end of your points?

• What percentage of the time did you spend looking at and speaking to your slides vs. looking at and speaking to your players? If you were to shift that so it more heavily favored your players, how might that benefit you and them?

• If you were to do this again, but this time try to make one-on-one eye contact with the players as you deliver your message (instead of ‘scanning’ across the group), what impact might that have on you and your players?

• You mentioned “treat eachother with respect.” — If one of the guys had asked you to elaborate on what that means, what would you say? Could it have benefited you/them to have shared a few specific examples?

Video #2 | Head Coach Liam Coen, Jacksonville Jaguars (Time to Watch 1:58)

Questions I want to ask Coach Coen…

• What went well? What do you want to do differently next time and why?

• If you were required to redo your opening statement, what might you change about your words and/or delivery? Why?

• Tell me about how you manage your movement at the front of the room while you’re speaking? What impact does it have on you? What impact do you think it has on your listeners?

• What was your intention behind your tone of voice and level of projection? What impact were you wanting to create?

• If you were required to vary your tone of voice and level of projection more throughout your message, what sections/points could have held a more mild tone and less projection? What sections/points demanded a more intense tone and more projection?

• You mentioned “authentic improvement,” but didn’t elaborate on what that meant. As specifically as possible, what does that mean to you?

• You talked about “attacking the edge.” How would it have benefited your team to hear you share a few specific examples of what that looks like in action?

• You said “Every day, attack with the right mindest and mentality; with an excellent standard.” What exactly does that mean? If you were to do redo this meeting, would you elaborate on that point? Why or why not?

In Closing

There’s always something you can do better.

What questions are you asking yourself when you evaluate your own speaking? Share them in the comments.

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

Until next time!

Jenny

The other day, while I was coaching at my gym, someone called our business phone to inquire about memberships. I answered to get their name and let them know I would call them back after I was done coaching my sessions.

Two hours later, they called again while I was in the middle of coaching another session.

They were annoyed I hadn’t called them back yet.

I felt immediate pressure.

So, I said what was true:

“I’m sorry I haven’t returned your call yet. It’s important to me, and I haven’t forgotten about you. I didn’t do a good job communicating my morning schedule when you called earlier. I’m on the floor coaching until 10 this morning. Can I call you right at 10:15 am?”

The conversation shifted from…

• Frustration to understanding.

• Uncertainty to clarity.

• Feeling forgotten about to feeling seen.

These types of interactions happen to us every day.

Interactions that…

• Create a feeling of tightness in our chest or throat.

• Create a feeling of needing to “rescue” the person or interaction.

• Create feelings of needing to “win” the moment.

• Create feelings of shame, leading us to give a “protective” response.

• Give us the urge to fill the silence quickly (usually with an explanation).

• Create pressure to give the “right” answer rather than the “true” one.

• Lead us to give a longer, more complicated answer than required.

How else might Say What's True sound?

• “That sounds like a question I should have the answer to, but I don’t. Are you willing to give me a bit of time and get back to you?”

• “I'm embarrassed to say I can’t remember your name. I’m normally much better with these types of things. Will you please remind me?”

• “This is an important conversation that needs to happen, but I’m getting defensive which is getting in the way of this being productive. Can we pick a day/time later this week to try again?”

• “My mind is elsewhere right now, so I’m having a hard time focusing. Can you come back in 15 minutes?”

• “I’m late. I started a project and completely lost track of time. Thank you for waiting.”

• “I’m angry with myself for missing our meeting. That isn’t representative of the person I am, and your time is valuable and important to me. I will not let it happen again.”

• "What I just said sounded harsher than I meant it to. I'm sorry — can I try again?"

• (When a player inquires about being in the starting lineup) "You’re in the mix, but I haven't made that decision yet, and I don't want to tell you something that turns out not to be true. I'll have an answer for you by Thursday."

• (When a training client asks why they’re not seeing the results they’d expect from a certain exercise) "I'm not sure yet—and I'd rather say that than guess. Let's track it more intentionally over the next few weeks and see what comes of it."

• (When a parent confronts you after a game about their kid’s playing time) "I hear your frustration. I really do. I know from experience that this parking lot version of the conversation won’t serve either of us. Email me when you get home and we can find a time this week that works for both of us."

• “As much as I’d love to have you join our gym, I’m not sure we’re the right fit. You’ve talked a lot about wanting to lose weight fast, which is something we don’t support. We tend to focus on slower, sustainable weight-loss approaches. Your progress here would be slower than you’re saying you need it to be. What do you think?”

Why does this communication strategy work?

• It takes the pressure out of the moment: When you don’t know something, you feel pressure you to fill the silence—especially in professional settings where the expectation is for you to know. Admitting you don’t know removes that pressure. You’re no longer performing knowledge you don’t have; you’re just telling the truth.

• It keeps you present: When you're trying to manage an internal state you haven't named—anxiety, defensiveness, confusion, frustration—your attention turns inward in order to contain it. Saying it out loud shifts your attention back to the conversation.

• It builds more trust than a performative response: Most people can sense when you’re guessing. A confident but hollow answer might pass in the moment, but it leaves a lingering doubt in your listener. Saying “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” signals that when you do speak with confidence, it’s earned—which makes everything you say more credible over time.

• It demonstrates intellectual honesty: In professional and personal relationships, people who can openly share their internal truth (with tact) tend to be seen as more thoughtful, not less competent. It’s a demonstration of your self-awareness and respect for accuracy.

• It invites the other person to do the same: Truth-telling can be contagious. When you can name your truth with confidence and tact, it invites the other person to do the same. That's when your conversations shift from transactional to genuine.

• It’s sustainable: Similar to lies, made-up or stretched answers often have to be remembered and maintained. The truth doesn’t. There’s no cognitive overhead with honesty.

The next time you feel that familiar pressure to say the “right” thing, give an immediate answer, defend your actions or reputation, win the moment, or skew the truth in order to protect yourself or the other person, say what’s true. That’s enough.

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

Until next time!

Jenny

Jim Harbaugh is the current Head Coach of the Los Angeles Chargers (NFL).

He grew up in a football family, played football, and has been coaching since 1994 (while still playing in the NFL).

I’ve been eager to write about Jim for some time, so I hope this brings as much inspiration to you as it has to me.

To start, I need you to watch this 3-minute clip of Coach Harbaugh (below).

Because it comes from the Chargers’ official YouTube channel, I can’t embed it directly into this post.

Please double-click on the video to watch it in a separate tab on YouTube. It’s less than 3 minutes long and will provide you with the necessary context to understand the rest of this article.

Jim is someone you want to be around. He has a way of making people feel seen, celebrated, and safe. He’s a tremendously likable guy.

So, let’s dig into that.

In this short clip, Coach Harbaugh does two things you should emulate to increase your presence and authentically connect with the people you impact:

1. He treats everyone like they’re the most important person in the world

2. He puts out and responds to bids for connection

Let’s look at each…

1. He treats everyone like they’re the most important person in the world

Saint Augustine said:

Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.

Coach Harbaugh takes this to heart.

He makes people feel important by:

• Calling them by their name

• Being generous with (specific) compliments - (0:02)“Grant, all right, looking good. Good cut you got there, Grant! That is very fresh.”

• Physically facing and looking at the people he’s speaking to

• Showing genuine excitement when first seeing someone

• Embracing the power of physical affection - hugs, hand on the shoulder, shoulder squeezes, etc.

This is simple, but not easy. And certainly not the norm in male-dominated environments.

Jim behaves like this because he (clearly) has a lot of self-love and respect, and he understands the power of being emotionally expressive.

If you watch this interview with Jim, his brother, and his dad, it’s obvious that he comes from a family that planted and reinforced these beliefs and behaviors.

What I love most about Jim’s approach is how it invites everyone around him to be as expressive and affectionate as he is.

He becomes an exemplar.

Several of the men Coach Harbaugh interacts with in this clip show excitement and initiate physical affection with him (0:39, 0:56, 0:58, 1:10, 2:29) because they know he will accept and embrace them.

His presence reminds me of this excerpt from InSideOut Coaching by Joe Ehrmann:

I also saw the transformational coaches, who used their coaching platform to impart life-changing messages that I began to understand only decades later. Coach-power, like all forms of power, can be used either for good or for bad, for self or for others. Transformational coaches are others-centered. They use their power and platform to nurture and transform players. I followed these coaches because I sensed their authenticity; they have affected me for a lifetime. Players first, team second, coach’s needs met by meeting the needs of players.

This is Jim Harbaugh.

He’s others-centered, authentic, and clearly derives joy and energy from meeting the needs of those around him.

What’s the lesson?

How you make people feel matters.

In George Pransky’s book, The Relationship Handbook, he writes: “...communication isn’t nearly as important as how we feel when we communicate.”

It’s easy to see that feelings are a big part of Jim Harbaugh’s relational success as a coach.

2. He puts out and responds to bids for connection

Bids for connection are often small, understated efforts to connect with someone.

They can be verbal or nonverbal—such as sharing a story or commenting on something—and play an important role in building emotional closeness in relationships.

Coach Harbaugh puts out a lot of bids, and notices and responds to bids from others:

• (0:29) Jim says, “…Wait till you see our new facility, it’s amazing.” - This bid gives the person he’s talking to an opportunity to deepen the conversation.

• (0:59) He sees a player, hugs him, then immediately asks him, “…What did you run? How’d you do?” - This bid allows the player to share something about themselves with Coach Harbaugh, and gives him something to celebrate with the player.

• (1:09 ) He sees a player and says, “What’s up big guy?”, then further feeds the conversation by saying, “…Ran into your parents. Saw your dad […] in the hotel.” This bid allows the player to engage in a conversation with him, and the player ends up sharing something about his sister dropping off chicken feed, which further extends their interaction.

• (1:49) In conversation with a few people, Coach Harbaugh shares, “Justin Herbert’s gotta little ranch up in Oregon.” - Seemingly unimportant, but it’s a bid that sparks another conversation (which is the point).

This isn’t a one-off. Watch any of the videos of Coach Harbaugh on YouTube, and you’ll see him putting out and responding to bids for connection (double-click to watch on YT):

What’s the lesson?

Professionals who have earned the trust, respect, and admiration of the people they impact understand the incredible power of small relational moments.

Small relational moments create opportunity for disclosure, which when handled with care, build strong authentic relationships.

When you choose to share (appropriately) about yourself—curiosities, questions, struggles, triumphs, musings, mistakes, or lessons learned—it humanizes you and reduces the power distance between you and your coworkers/athlete/client/patient.

Coach Harbaugh is proof.

To wrap this up…

As a leader on your team or within your organization, your relational approach socializes the people around you to behave in certain ways—ultimately defining the culture you find yourself in.

Whether you intend it or not, how you communicate, embrace others (or not embrace), respond to stress and excitement, give praise and feedback, and handle mistakes teaches others what is safe, valued, and expected.

Over time, the people and culture will adapt to match the signals you send—shaping the tone of your conversations, level of trust, and amount of relational safety.

Start showing up like Jim Harbaugh.

If you enjoyed this post, hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

Our gym is now over a year old, my baby is no longer a baby, and we’ve hired our first full-time employee.

And here I am, with something I haven’t had in a long while—time and focus.

Although I haven’t written in a while, I’ve continued to coach individuals and groups on how to improve their communication and public speaking skills.

A conceptual framework I’ve found myself referencing recently is the Ladder of Abstraction.

It’s an important framework for you to understand because it will reveal gaps in your understanding that can undermine the effectiveness of your message.

It’s also a tool you can use to (1) prevent vagueness, (2) prevent information overload, and (3) help you adapt in real-time as you ‘read’ your audience while you speak.

The Ladder of Abstraction

The Ladder of Abstraction, developed by S.I. Hayakawa, is a conceptual framework that visualizes the spectrum of language specificity. Each rung represents a level of abstraction.

At the top of the ladder, you use abstract, broad, and general language (think concepts, categories, big ideas, etc.).

• If I were at the top of the ladder talking about strength training, I might say, “Building strength helps you cultivate resilience, confidence, and long-term well-being.” (broad and conceptual)

• If I were at the top of the ladder talking about food tracking for weight loss, I might say, “Tracking your macros helps you create alignment between your eating habits and your weight-loss goals.” (broad and conceptual)

• If I were at the top of the ladder talking about my (sport) team’s philosophy, I might say, “This season, we’re building more than a team—we’re building a standard. Our goal is to become a group that shows up with discipline, accountability, and respect for the work and for each other.” (broad and conceptual)

At the bottom of the ladder, you use concrete, detailed, and specific language (think facts, examples, data, etc.).

• If I were at the bottom of the ladder talking about strength training, I might say, “It’s noticing you can get up off the floor with a little more ease than last month, or carry all the groceries in one trip because your grip strength has improved.” (concrete and specific)

• If I were at the bottom of the ladder talking about food tracking for weight loss, I might say, “It looks like opening your food-tracking app before dinner and noticing you still need about 20 grams of protein, so you add a grilled chicken breast instead of extra pasta. Or realizing you’ve hit your carb goal for the day, so you swap the tortilla for a lettuce wrap. These small, informed choices—made one meal at a time—are what help you lose weight.” (concrete and specific)

• If I were at the bottom of the ladder talking about my (sport) team’s philosophy, I might say, “That standard shows up in simple, visible ways. It looks like being on the field five minutes early with your gear ready. It looks like listening when a teammate or coach is speaking and correcting mistakes without excuses. It looks like sprinting through the last rep of a drill, even when you’re tired, and picking up a teammate who’s struggling instead of walking past them. Discipline is how you prepare. Accountability is owning your effort and your mistakes. Respect is how you treat the work, the space, and each other—every single day.” (concrete and specific)

What does this have to do with being great at public speaking?

Being able to move up and down the ladder as you speak on your topic is a demonstration of your depth of knowledge, understanding, and attunement to your audience.

Speakers who stay at the top of the ladder sound vague and overly academic. They struggle to create meaning for their audience because their abstract language lacks detail, emotion, and story.

After listening to a speaker who stays near the top of the ladder, you might find yourself thinking:

• “I get the big idea, but I have no clue what to do next.”

• “I wish they had given an example.”

• “This felt motivational, but not useful.”

• “I couldn’t picture anything they were talking about.”

Speakers who stay at the bottom of the ladder struggle to weave their concrete points or stories into a meaningful takeaway. They lack purpose.

After listening to a speaker who stays near the bottom of the ladder, you might find yourself thinking:

• “Okay… but why does any of that matter?”

• “They told a lot of stories, but I’m not sure what the takeaway was.”

• “It felt like they were rambling.”

• “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Being a great public speaker means you have the depth of knowledge and understanding to build a frame and establish context for your audience (top of the ladder), then paint a vibrant, detailed, and meaningful picture within that frame (bottom of the ladder).

Here are a few ways I help my clients apply the Ladder of Abstraction:

1. If they’re presenting from slides, I’ll have them go through each slide and answer this question: “Simply stated, what’s the point of this slide?” Being able to answer this question demonstrates their ability to tie individual pieces of information back to the overarching theme of their message. (top of the ladder)

2. As they go through their slides or talk, I’ll periodically ask, “Why is that piece of information important for your audience to know?” or “How does this point support your message objective?” This encourages them to consider the strength of the relationship between their individual pieces of information and their overall objective. (top and bottom of the ladder)

3. When they make a point that sounds important, I’ll say, “Give me an example…” or “Tell me a story about that…” or “How do you know that to be true?” (bottom of ladder)

How might you apply the Ladder of Abstraction?

Use it to shape your message:

• Start with a clear big idea: If your audience remembers one idea, what should it be?

• Support it with concrete examples, stories, tactics, etc.: What does this actually look like in real life, for your specific audience?

• Connect those details back to the meaning of your message: For each example, story, tactic, etc., how does it help your audience connect with and remember your one big idea?

Test your understanding: If you can’t move easily between abstract ideas and specific examples, that’s where your preparation needs to go deeper.

Adapt (while you’re speaking): Pay attention to your audience when speaking so you know when to move up the ladder for clarity or down the ladder for grounding.

If you enjoyed this post, hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

My last post was on September 8th. This is the longest stretch between posts since I started writing this blog in 2021.

In September, my husband and I opened two new gyms in our town — just the two of us with two kiddos at home and no formal childcare. To say it’s been beautifully chaotic would be an understatement.

I’ve missed posting on this blog and do hope to get back to a regular cadence, so thanks for sticking with me.

Let’s get to it…

The 26th coach in this series is Jay Bilas, current ESPN college basketball analyst and former Duke men’s basketball assistant coach (1990-1992).

Jay is an impressive human and a tremendous speaker.

The clip I’ve chosen for this post is 28 minutes long. You don’t have to watch the full speech, but if you have the time, you absolutely should.

Please watch at least 5 minutes of this clip before reading on:

When I started listening to Jay speak, I noticed I wanted to listen to him.

Whenever I want to listen to someone, I get curious about what they’re doing or saying to create that feeling.

This is the missing step for a lot of us.

We have examples of effective communication and public speaking all around us, but we don’t make an effort to notice what they’re doing or saying that makes them so effective and consider how we might apply similar strategies.

That’s the purpose of this series. I want to help you notice specific things about how others communicate and speak and then figure out how to apply similar strategies in your own life and work.

So, what is it that makes us want to listen to Jay speak?

First, let’s talk about what Jay is doing that makes us want to listen:

Throughout his message, he holds a steady posture and uses supportive gestures.

Notice that Jay isn’t moving around constantly. In fact, he stands in the same spot for most of his 28-minute talk.

His lack of lower body movement draws our attention because we perceive him as calm and collected, and we can focus entirely on his message.

This is different than what many of us do, which is constantly pacing the front of the room or stage, shifting our hips side to side, and/or rocking forward and back.

As I’ve written about many times before, purposeless movement is distracting. Pacing the front of the room or stage, shifting your hips back and forth, and rocking on your feet forward and back are (often) self-soothing strategies more than they are audience-engagement strategies.

If you don’t think you pace, shift, or rock while speaking, I urge you to record a video of yourself. You might be surprised by the amount of unconscious movement.

Back to Jay…

Even though we don’t see much movement in his lower body, I wouldn’t describe him as rigid or boring. That’s because we see him using a lot of expressive and supportive gestures.

Expressive and supportive gestures are a much more effective engagement tool than lower body movement.

Here are four things you should know about gesturing:

1. You should actively look for opportunities to “show” your message with your hands. When you’re not actively gesturing, your hands should be resting down.

2. When you gesture, you should pick your hands up so you draw your listeners’ attention up toward your face (where the words are coming up). Gesturing below your waist draws your listeners’ attention down.

3. When you gesture, you should take up space (so long as you don’t move into someone else’s personal space). Allow your hands to get outside of your body.

4. Try to avoid “placed” gesturing techniques — like steepling your hands (pictured below) — which come across as unnatural.

Something else Jay does that makes us want to listen to him is that he speaks at a rate we can easily follow.

In the seven or so years I’ve been teaching and coaching this stuff, I think I’ve told two people to increase their speech rate. Just two!

Most of us talk too fast. When I say “fast,” I’m usually referring to the amount of space between your individual points and not the actual speed of your words. “Fast talkers” usually string multiple thoughts and sentences together without breaking, or connect their thoughts and sentences together with filler words.

Jay incorporates short and long (silent) pauses between his thoughts and sentences. I urge you to replay a few minutes of the video and listen for these pauses.

I’ve written about the importance and impact of pausing while speaking ad nauseam. I will continue to do so because I believe it’s the most powerful thing you can do to improve your communication and speaking skills.

Think about it like this…

Pauses are where the listening happens. (read that again)

When you pause — even for a moment — you create space for your listeners to take in and connect with what you just said.

Not pausing or pausing infrequently is like turning the sink faucet on high and closing the drain. At some point, the water will overflow and be wasted. Incorporating deliberate pauses into your speaking is the equivalent of turning off the faucet for a moment and opening the drain so the water (your information) can move through.

As the one speaking, it’s your responsibility to manage the flow of your message. Say something, pause. Say something, pause. Say something, pause.

Pausing while you speak will be uncomfortable for you but pleasant for your listeners.

The final thing I noticed about how Jay speaks is his use of deliberate eye contact.

»» Scroll back up to the video and watch 1-2 minutes of Jay speaking. Only pay attention to his eyes. Notice how his eyes almost always focused on someone in his audience and not scanning around the room.

Making deliberate eye contact with the individuals in your audience has a few benefits:

1. Captures individual attention, which drives group engagement.

2. Creates feelings of connection and trust between you and your individual audience members.

3. Helps settle your nerves, as you’re more comfortable looking at and speaking to one person versus multiple people at once.

4. Subconsciously motivates your audience members to pay attention and make eye contact with you — even when you’re not looking directly at them — so they get “credit” for their attention when you inevitably look at them.

Next, let’s talk about what Jay says that makes us want to listen.

First, he made his stories and anecdotes relevant to his audience.

A pet peeve I have when listening to others speak is when they share their personal stories but don’t do the work to help us understand why we should care.

It feels like they’re saying, “Look how great I am!” versus “Here’s how my story can help you be great.”

Jay’s talk is almost entirely about himself, but for every personal story or anecdote he tells, he immediately transitions into a lesson for his listeners.

So, the next time you hear yourself telling a personal story or sharing a personal insight, follow it up with, “I’m sharing this with you because…” or “Here’s how you might use this…”

Another thing Jay does is share several quotable insights:

• “Your decisions will reveal your priorities.”

• “It’s the best non-family decision you’ve ever made.” (To play for Duke BB)

• “If you guys do this right — and I think you will — this will positively affect the rest of your life.”

• “I’ll tell you one thing about regret. Nobody who’s been through this process ever regrets giving everything they have.

• “Your role is not who you are, and it’s not what you’re capable of. It’s what your team needs you to do to win.”

• (Jay’s dad) “You can’t get to the top of that ladder in one step. But you can get to the bottom in one step.”

• “You’re not going to win the national championship today; it’s not being played today. But you’re going to put yourself in a position to win it by what you do today.”

• “You will not have special in your life like this very often. And so take advantage of it.”

These quotes are powerful because they capture the essence of Jay’s messages.

We tend to envy people who are “quotable,” thinking they have some special talent. They don’t.

They simply have a deep understanding of their message. They’ve sat with, reflected on, and discussed their thoughts and experiences long enough to understand what’s at the core.

When you can boil a big message down into a short statement, it proves to your audience how deeply you understand what you’re saying.

In Closing

Jay doesn’t have some special talent to be envious of.

He’s collected an array of life experiences and dedicated time and effort to understanding how those experiences can be leveraged to engage, teach, inspire, and motivate others to achieve something great for themselves.

What else did you learn from watching Jay speak? Share them with me in the comments 👇

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

Coach Boyle is one of my favorite presenters. He’s easy to listen to, easy to understand, and always shares memorable stories and examples.

In today’s post, I have five presentation lessons for you.

Each lesson will be complemented by a clip from Coach Boyle’s 2019 keynote presentation at the Perform Better Summit.

Let’s go!

Lesson 1: Start at the end

(Watch from 5:08 - 6:12)

Within the first few minutes of his presentation, Coach Boyle shares his “3 Big Takeaways.”

He’s leading with his conclusion.

Here’s why you should do this during your next presentation:

• It establishes relevance and value early, increasing the likelihood that your audience will stay engaged throughout your message.

• It gives your audience the context/framing they need to better understand the details of your message.

• It builds credibility. It tells your audience that your message is focused, and you’re not going to dump a bunch of random information on them.

Here’s what other communication and presentation skills experts have to say about it:

Write down the precise outcome you want and three to five points you MUST make to support it. - Jim VandeHei (Smart Brevity)

Unfortunately, most presenters prepare their talks only by gathering information and facts; they never frame the purpose of their talks in terms of impacting a change in their audience. - Garr Reynolds (The Naked Presenter)

Ask yourself what I call the “objective question”: “If they interviewed people after my talk and asked them, ‘What did you get from this speech and what are you going to do differently as a result?’ what would I want them to say?” - Brian Tracy (Speak to Win)

Tell me where you’re taking me, and I’ll understand the path more clearly. - Jay Sullivan (Simply Said)

I recommend you define your big takeaways before you develop the details of your presentation. These should help guide you in deciding what to include and what to leave out.

Lesson 2: Tell your audience what’s motivating your message and how you’ll measure success

(Watch from 6:12 - 7:39)

Presentation objectives are the specific goals or outcomes you hope to achieve by the end of your message.

They should tell your audience what change you hope they experience either in their thinking, doing, and/or feeling as a result of your message:

• “I want to try and clear up some of the disagreements.” - Thinking

• “I want to give you actionable information for Monday. If I do a good job today, […] hopefully you’re going to go back and do some things differently on Monday. Hopefully you’re going to go back and you’re going to teach your clients some different exercises, or you might teach the same exercises differently.” - Doing

Here’s why you should do this during your next presentation:

• It gives you a measure of success. If someone emails Coach Boyle a few weeks after this presentation and says, “You’re presentation really got me thinking. I stopped doing X with my clients, and have started doing X,” he’ll know his message was successful.

• It encourages your audience to be active listeners. Knowing your objectives makes it easier for them to identify important details and connections.

• It helps keep post-presentation Q&A on track. When your audience knows your objectives, their questions are more likely to be relevant and focused on the key areas of your presentation.

Lesson 3: Use other people’s words to help you make your point

(Watch from 12:18 - 14:41)

Coach Boyle’s presentations always include quotes from industry colleagues, books, business leaders, etc.

Quotes aren’t uncommon in presentations, but I think we leave a lot of impact on the table by how we deliver and elaborate on them.

How can you create more impact with quotes:

• Always read them verbatim to your audience. As you’re reading the quote, your audience will be following along silently. I’ve seen presenters put up a quote and immediately elaborate on it without ever reading it aloud. The problem with this is that while they’re elaborating on the quote, their audience is busy reading it. Don’t get in your own way.

• After reading the quote, make a clear and direct connection between the quote and the key points/objectives of your presentation — “I chose this quote because…” or “Here’s what this has to do with today’s presentation…”

• If the person or resource you’re quoting isn’t known to your audience, enlighten them. Quotes are more impactful when your audience respects who/where the quote came from.

Lesson 4: Tell stories to make your point memorable

(Watch from 15:34 - 18:20)

The backbone of Coach Boyle’s presentations are stories, and I think this approach is the main reason why so many people enjoy listening to him speak. As soon as he’s done, I always find myself wishing he would continue sharing.

We’ve evolved to learn through stories.

If I gave you a choice to learn via story or learn via charts and graphs, most of you would choose story.

We remember more information when it’s presented to us in a story format.

So, why aren’t more of us telling stories in our presentations?

The two reasons I hear most often are:

1. “I don’t have any interesting stories.”

2. “I’m not a good storyteller.”

I call bullshit.

If you don’t have any interesting stories, read a few books, talk to more of your peers, and listen to podcasts. Use (and credit) other people’s stories.

If you’re not good at telling stories, practice telling stories.

This isn’t an innate talent, but it takes will and skill. You have to want to leverage the power of stories and then work on delivering them in a way that’s interesting and relevant to your specific audience.

I encourage many of my clients to try Matthew Dicks Homework for Life:

Here’s what other communication and presentation skills experts have to say about stories:

Remember, we tend to forget lists and bullet points, but stories come naturally to us. Stories are how we’ve always attempted to understand and remember the bits and pieces of our experiences. - Garr Reynolds (The Naked Presenter)

When you want to inspire people to move forward, stories should drive your message. Few people are persuaded by data. We need to know our data so we can back up the claims in our stories, but it’s the stories that engage people. - Jay Sullivan (Simply Said)

When telling a story to an audience, we play a game with them: we pretend that we are speaking completely off the cuff. Extemporaneous storytelling, unprepared and unrehearsed. This is not usually true. While most storytellers don’t memorize their stories (and I strongly advise against it), they are prepared to tell them. They have memorized specific beats in a story. They know their beginning and ending lines. They have memorized certain laugh lines. They have a plan in place before they begin speaking. — Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy)

Stories aren’t just for fun. No matter how dry you think your information is, using stories will make it understandable, interesting, and memorable. — Susan Weinschenk (100 Things Every Presenter Needs to Know About People)

Lesson 5: Say more than what’s on your slide

(Watch from 19:42 - 21:22)

In this clip, Coach Boyle shows a picture of the diaphragm without any words on the slide. He then proceeds to talk about the diaphragm for almost two minutes.

This is a skill more of us need to develop. We should be able to give our audience a visual with minimal text and speak on it at length (if asked to).

The people we judge as interesting and intelligent presenters are usually the ones who say a lot more than what’s shown on their slides.

This isn’t the case for most of us.

Most of us are so afraid we’ll forget what we want to say that we load up our slides with full sentences and overly detailed charts and graphs.

If you can’t make your point without having it written out in detail on your slide, I’d argue that you don’t really understand your point.

Maybe you know it, but you don’t truly understand it.

How do you get better at this? You do more talking and writing.

If you think you really know something, find someone to share it with. It won’t take long for you to realize whether or not you truly understand it.

What’s your biggest takeaway from this post? Share it with me in the comment section.

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

Three compelling excerpts from Pieces of the Action by Vannevar Bush:

1. There are two primary ways in which to lose a battle or a campaign, assuming nearly equal antagonists as far as equipment, morale, and sizes of forces are concerned. One is to have confused lines of authority. The other is to have a top commander with poor judgment.

2. In an industry that has become closely standardized, where nearly all competing companies are comfortably making profits, minor improvements can readily be introduced, but major improvements are up against a stone wall.

3. There is a vast difference between understanding a problem in terms of equations and diagrams and understanding it in terms of copper and iron. A physicist can work out the stresses and geometry of a harness, but the farm boy understands the horse. I have known men (I have had them work for me) who were rather helpless on the mathematical analysis of circuits but who could go to a complex relay assemblage that was misbehaving and put their finger right on the fault. So I think the fundamentals of almost any subject, the simplest part, the core, can be taught to youngsters who are just beginning to learn and can be taught to them easily. If this is done, the student who really has an interest will carry through to quite an extraordinary extent on his own. I do not think it is worthwhile in trying to do this to take the matter into subtleties which will not really come into the youngster's experience for many years. For a principle once learned is soon forgotten unless it gets exercised.

An Analogy You Can Use: The Dead Sea Effect

The Dead Sea is a landlocked saltwater lake in the Middle East that sits far below sea level. Because it has no outflow and high evaporation rates, its salt content is ten times higher than most oceans. It’s called the “Dead Sea” because its extreme salinity can’t support aquatic life.

The “Dead Sea effect” is a term coined by IT expert Bruce F. Webster to describe the phenomenon in organizations where low-performing or less motivated employees stay longer (salt) while high-performing and more motivated employees leave (evaporating water) to pursue new challenges and better opportunities. This leads to a situation where the organization’s talent pool gradually diminishes in quality, like the Dead Sea.

Is there anything in your life or work like the Dead Sea?

A lesson from Warren Buffet

Warren Buffet once said: “How do you beat Bobby Fischer? You play him at anything but chess.”

Bobby Fischer was an American chess grandmaster and the eleventh World Chess Champion.

Are you putting your energy where you have an edge, or are you trying to beat Bobby Fischer?

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

Aside from his success over the last 30 years at MBSC, he’s also served as the S&C Coach for Boston University, the Boston Red Sox, the Boston Bruins, the 1998 US Women’s Olympic Ice Hockey Team, several Olympians, and many other elite athletes.

I first met Coach Boyle in 2017 through my husband, Brendon. Since then, I’ve attended many of his talks and presentations and spent personal time with him when we were all in the same city.

I share that bit of information with you because I’ve had the opportunity to see Michael in both professional and personal settings.

One reason I think he’s had so much professional success is because he’s as genuine as they come. The Michael Boyle you get on a stage is the Michael Boyle you get when you sit down for a beer with him.

If you’re going to pursue anything as a professional, pursue genuineness.

I’ll share one video in today’s post with two speaking/presentation lessons, and I intend to share another video (or two) with lessons in a follow-up post next week.

In this clip, Coach Boyle is presenting (with slides) on Youth Athlete training.

Please watch 3-5 minutes of the clip before reading on. Watching the clip a second time after reading the post would also be beneficial.

The two lessons I want you to take from this video:

1. Don’t shy away from sharing your viewpoints clearly and directly.

2. Always guide your audience through the logic of your message.

Lesson number one: Don’t be afraid to share your viewpoints clearly and directly.

In the first 30 seconds of this clip, Coach Boyle says: “Bodyweight training is a dumb idea.”

If you’ve ever heard Coach Boyle speak, you know he doesn’t mince his words when sharing his perspective on a topic so long as he has the knowledge or experience to back it up.

He could have said, “I don’t believe bodyweight training for youth athletes is effective,” or “We need to move away from glorifying bodyweight training for youth athletes,” but it wouldn’t have had the same effect.

The directness and boldness of his message catch your attention and make you want to listen to him explain himself. That’s the point.

When I coach people on their speaking and presentation skills, I often find myself teaching and encouraging them to share their viewpoints clearly and directly.

It’s something a lot of us are afraid to do.

We’re afraid to hurt feelings, be challenged, invite disagreement, be perceived as unprofessional, and so on.

Instead of sharing our viewpoints straightforwardly, we water them down with indirect language, weaken them with hedging phrases (kind of, sort of, etc.), and pre-apologize for any discomfort they might cause others.

By the time we’re done sharing them, our listeners still don’t know what we think.

Remember: If you don’t have reasons and evidence to back up your viewpoint, then it’s probably best to wait on forming one and sharing it.

Being direct is not the same as being mean. It’s OK to have bold and controversial viewpoints.

So long as you refrain from attacking someone’s personhood and you can support your viewpoint with reasons and evidence, own it. And if you’re proven wrong, change it.

Lesson number two: Always guide your audience through the logic of your message.

Here are a few examples of how Coach Boyle does this…

• “Alright I understand, now I need to get my kid to train. I got this 11 to 18 year old kid, what do I do with them from a training standpoint?”

• “The strength and conditioning people are going to be like, ‘what are you talking about bodyweight training is a dumb idea?!’”

• “So it seems like a really good idea; people always say, ‘Oh I just do bodyweight stuff with my kid.’”

• “People are going to say, ‘What about bench being an overrated exercise?’”

Go back to the clip and notice how often Coach Boyle frames his content through the questions or concerns his listeners likely have based on what he’s saying.

His presentation style is almost like a continuous Q&A session: Here’s the question you’re probably asking right now… here’s how my content answers that question… Here’s the next question you’re probably asking… here’s how my content answers that question…

It’s effective because it’s easy to follow. His approach makes you feel smart.

It’s almost as if he’s holding your hand to walk you through the logic of his message. He’s constantly creating moments of micro-understanding.

In Closing

Over the last few years, I’ve come to appreciate how effective Coach Boyle’s approach is at sparking conversation.

Whether you tend to agree with him or not, you can’t argue with how powerful his public viewpoints have been in advancing the field of S&C.

His willingness to have and share an informed viewpoint invites others to build on it, challenge it, and even disprove it—all of which push the S&C industry forward.

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

1/ Four quotes on leadership

1. "Leadership is a combination of strategy and character. If you must be without one, be without the strategy." - Norm Schwarzkopf

2. “Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them." - Robert Jarvik

3. When Lou Holtz was asked how he developed such extraordinary motivation on his teams, he said: "It's easy; we just get rid of the ones who aren't motivated."

4. "A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be." - Rosalynn Carter

2/ NASA: Monday Notes

At the beginning of the Apollo era at NASA, Wernher von Braun implemented a communication practice called Monday Notes with his team.

Every Monday, engineers and technicians two levels below von Braun were asked to submit informal, one-page notes describing to von Braun what occurred over that week — successes, unsolved problems, decisions, failures, opinions, etc.

Once submitted, von Braun would read the notes and write his remarks (questions, reactions, guidance, etc.) in the margins:

With his remarks added, he would make copies and distribute the full set of annotated notes to every senior manager on his team.

The consistency and visibility of this type of communication allowed von Braun and his team to accomplish what seemed impossible with the budgets and timelines he was given.

Can you implement a form of Monday Notes with your team?

3/ An analogy you can use: Load Shedding

This is an aviation concept defined as deciding what systems to shut down and in what order to reduce the power consumption of the finite power remaining in a battery.

An example of this concept is how pilots are taught to manage their hierarchy of actions when there’s an in-flight issue: Aviate, Navigate, then Communicate.

Communication and navigation don’t matter if the plane crashes, so a pilot will stop communicating and even stop navigating in order to work on the issue while continuing to fly the plane.

Your turn: What would the hierarchy of actions be for your work? What can be dropped, and in what order?

4/ An analogy you can use from How Buildings Learn

Occupy a building while it's being finished or remodeled. It's worth it for the fine-tuning that your presence affords. Make sure things sit exactly where it feels best for you: counter height, fridge, sinks, etc. It should fit like tailored clothing.

There have got to be other areas of life this guidance applies to…

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

More than 500 of you haven’t read it, and it’s one of my favorites, so here it is again. Enjoy!

Watch this 2:30-minute clip before reading on:

As the head coach of UConn's women’s basketball team, Geno Auriemma knows something about creating a winning culture.

He also knows that team culture is fragile, and a poor recruiting or coaching decision could bring the whole thing down.

So, he uses a filter:

“…recruiting kids that are really upbeat, loving life, love the game, have this tremendous appreciation for when your teammates do something well — that’s hard. That’s really hard. So on our team, we [me, my coaching staff], we put a huge premium on body language. And if your body language is bad, you will never get in the game. EVER.”

While watching this clip, I wondered…

Being who I am today, would I get recruited?

Life is a team sport.

Our attitude and actions determine whether we get recruited or sit on the bench.

When we celebrate our colleagues for their accomplishments — regardless of our own performance — we get recruited.

When we complain instead of contribute, we get benched.

When we look at our phone, instead of staying present to the people we’re with, we get benched.

When we share knowledge to build up those around us, we get recruited.

When we hide knowledge to distinguish ourselves from our peers, we get benched.

When we choose to learn instead of pretending to know, we get recruited.

When we make snide comments to other professionals in our field on social media, we get benched.

When we care more about who we are than how many followers we have, we get recruited.

My favorite part of Geno’s message came at the end:

“When I watch game film, I’m checking what’s going on on the bench. And if somebody’s asleep over there, somebody doesn’t care, somebody’s not engaged in the game, they will never get in the game. EVER.”

This is as true in life as it is in basketball.

Your attitudes and actions are noticed and watched by people who can influence your future, especially when you’re on the bench.

WHO are you, and HOW do you behave when life isn’t ideal?

It’s easy to be a person of character when things go your way, but how do you respond when…

• You get rejected?

• Someone challenges your viewpoint?

• You’re given unsolicited feedback?

• Your ‘competition’ outshines you?

• A business competitor moves into your neighborhood?

• You make a mistake and have to tell on yourself?

• Someone tells you that your words or actions have harmed them?

• You get a negative comment on a social media post?

Do you react to defend your reputation, or do you look inward and see the challenge as an opportunity to strengthen your character?

As John Wooden said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

Imagine you’ve been tasked with building a world-class team of coaches (if you’re not a coach, replace it with your specific title).

Would you recruit you?

If you answered yes, prove it.

List the behaviors you consistently exhibit that make you a top recruit. Be specific.

Do you learn and use people’s names?

Do you offer help when you see a colleague struggling?

Do you pick trash off the gym floor even though you didn’t leave it there?

Do you speak kindly of other people? (even when they’re not present)

Do you share what you know, especially with those coming up behind you?

Do you show up early as a sign of your commitment and respect?

What specific things do you do to make you a top recruit?

If you enjoyed this article, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

Over the next two weeks, I’ll be hosting multiple educational opportunities I wanted to tell you about.

#1 - Practice-Based Virtual Workshop: How to Speak Without Filler Words

Do you say “Right"?” at the end of every sentence? Are you tired of saying “like“ but don’t know how to stop? Are you frustrated by how often you say “um” or “uh” but can’t figure out how to stop?

Then this workshop is for you.

When you use too many filler words such as um, uh, like, you know, and right?, you sound less intelligent, and your messages are difficult to follow and understand. Although filler words are a natural part of our language, using too many of them will undermine your credibility.

The goal of this workshop is to teach you a simple strategy for speaking without filler words. You will learn and then practice this strategy multiple times during the workshop, so when you take it into your everyday life, you can be confident in your ability to speak without using filler words.

I’m offering three live sessions so you can choose the date and time that works best for your schedule:

• Session A: Wednesday 8/14 at 4:30pm PST / 7:30pm EST

• Session B: Sunday 8/18 at 8:00am PST / 11:00am EST

• Session C: Wednesday 8/21 at 4:30pm PST / 7:30pm EST

• Session length and location: 90 minutes on Zoom

• Price: $55 USD

• Because this workshop involves practice and individual coaching, each session is limited to five participants. This workshop is NOT recorded.

Learn More & Register

#2 - Educational Lecture + Q&A: How to Confidently Deliver an Engaging Presentation

Do you have an upcoming talk or presentation? This educational lecture and Q&A session will teach you simple, actionable strategies for delivering your message with confidence and clarity.

Throughout the session, you’ll think to yourself, “I can’t believe I haven’t learned this before!”

This opportunity is perfect for all speaker experience levels because I’ll share multiple strategies, some of which I guarantee you’re not currently using in your talks and presentations.

I’m offering two live sessions so you can choose the date and time that works best for your schedule:

• Session A: Thursday 8/15 at 9:00am PST / 12:00pm EST

• Session B: Monday 8/19 at 11:00am EST / 2:00pm EST

• Session length: 60 minutes + optional 30-minute Q&A on Zoom

• Price: $25

• This lecture and Q&A session will be recorded and shared with all registered attendees.

Learn More & Register

#3 - Educational Lecture + Q&A: How Great Coaches Speak

If you’ve enjoyed reading my How Great Coaches Speak series on this blog, you’ll love this educational lecture and Q&A session.

Together, we’ll watch several video clips of coaches speaking, then analyze what they do well so you can apply their communication and speaking techniques in your own life and work.

• Date and time: Tuesday 8/20 at 11:00am PST / 2:00pm EST

• Session length: 60 minutes + optional 30-minute Q&A on Zoom

• Price: $25

• This lecture and Q&A session will be recorded and shared with all registered attendees.

Learn More & Register

If you have any questions about these opportunities before you register, please message me directly:

Thank You,

Jenny

The 24th coach in this series is Kara Lawson, Head Coach of Duke Women’s Basketball.

Coach Lawson was the very first coach I featured in this series back in January 2022. If you’re interested in reading that post, click HERE.

As you watch this 1:20-minute clip, there are two things I want you to notice about Coach Lawson’s speaking:

1. Her sustained eye contact and active gestures.

2. The structure of her message: Overarching point (“be coachable”) > explanation and examples of what that means > conclusion (our success is because of our willingness to be coachable).

There’s no shortage of videos of Coach Lawson delivering thought-provoking and inspiring messages.

Like this, and this, and this.

You might watch these clips and dismiss them, thinking you could never speak off the cuff with such clarity and poise.

But here’s the thing…

She’s not (really) speaking off the cuff.

Her spoken messages come from years of reflection, thoughtful consideration, and conversation. Her public speaking reflects her private thinking.

Two specific things you can learn from Coach Lawson:

1/ How to use your nonverbals to create connection and understanding.

Go back and watch Kara’s eyes for the length of the clip, noticing how long she sustains eye contact with the reporter in her audience. She only breaks that eye contact (maybe) five times to look toward her athletes sharing the media table and glance away to consider her thoughts.

Now consider how her focused eye contact impacts your perception of her.

Do you find her to come across as confident? sincere? competent? trustworthy? engaging?

Also consider how you would behave if you were the reporter Kara was speaking to. Would you feel compelled to pay attention because of her direct eye contact? Likely.

It’s a similar story for her gestures.

A few things I noticed:

• She keeps her hands up on the table so she can gesture when she feels compelled to. If she had kept her hands below the table on her lap, she’d be less inclined to use them.

• Her gestures are expressive: signaling toward her athletes, asserting her important points, matching the cadence and intensity of her message.

• She often gestures up off of the table and slightly outside of her body. This increases her physical “presence.” She’s not afraid to take up space.

Overall, her gestures create understanding. They convey the underlying emotion of her message and hierarchy of importance of her points.

Don’t fool yourself into believing Coach Lawson possesses some inaccessible special talent for public speaking. She simply has an understanding of, and appreciation for, the power of congruency in nonverbal and verbal communication.

2/ How to structure your message so it’s easy to follow along with and understand.

Here’s a transcription of Kara’s message with some notes to help you visualize the structure:

I like to think of organizing messages in the shape of a diamond:

Most of your messages should begin with a brief statement or summary of your main point or conclusion, followed by an elaboration of that point and supporting evidence, and end with a brief conclusive statement or summary of your message.

Considering structure when you communicate is critically important, yet many of us don’t. We speak whatever thoughts come to mind and do our best to weave logic through them as best we can.

Structure should be a forethought, not an afterthought.

Before you speak, you should ask yourself questions like:

• If I had to summarize my message in a single sentence, what would I say? (Say this first)

• What are 1-3 smaller points that support my main, overarching point or conclusion?

• Why is this important for this specific person or audience to know?

• What DON’T they need to know?

What else did you learn from watching Coach Lawson? Share them with me in the comments 👇

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

Read more

If you have any videos of coaches you’d like to see featured on this page, please send them my way.

Share a Video Example with Jenny

The question we’re answering today is…

How could DeShaun Foster have done it better?

DeShaun was named head coach of the UCLA Bruins' this past February.

Here he is at Big Ten media day making an opening statement before taking questions from the media. For additional context, this will be the first season UCLA plays in the Big Ten.

Please watch from 0:00 - 1:22:

Three things stand out to me:

1. We have certain expectations for how a head coach should speak.

2. He didn’t prepare an opening statement.

3. The lack of feedback from his “audience” ultimately derailed him.

Unfortunately for Coach Foster, this clip went viral and has become the focus of conversation around him/UCLA Football.

Here’s what he had to say about it in subsequent interviews:

I'm just not a rah, rah guy. You don't get any points for being rah-rah, but I played football. I didn't start coaching at 20. I played football in college at a high level. I got drafted playing football in the NFL for a few years at a high level and then I decided to coach. My path is way different than a lot of these other people that are coaching and up here doing all that stuff. Just like when I'm recruiting, it's not a pitch. Do you understand? I'm not a car salesman. […] So it's just tough for me. I'm not a big talker.

I get what he’s saying, but at this level, aren’t coaching and talking one in the same?

He’s not just a coach.

He’s a highly-visible representative of UCLA athletics and their football program.

Is this media day opening statement not reflective of the amount of thought he’s given to what his team’s identity will be in the Big Ten conference?

Is this media day opening statement not reflective of his understanding of and appreciation for how powerful his presence is in influencing the narrative around UCLA Football?

I’m not saying he hasn’t thought about his team’s identity in the Big Ten conference or that he doesn’t understand and appreciate the power of his presence, but his inability to articulate those answers invites these types of questions.

Maybe I’m thinking too seriously here, but would it have harmed Coach Foster to give this moment more credit than it deserved? I think not.

The lesson: Coaches need public speaking skills.

So, how could Foster have done it better?

He could have (more fully) prepared his remarks.

Nervousness and preparedness go together. The more prepared you are, the less nervous you’ll be.

This isn’t news to you. You know that performance is a product of preparation.

Coach Foster isn’t an amateur. He’s been exposed to the media before, so we have to assume he had good reason for not (more fully) preparing an opening statement for this event.

For the sake of this post, let’s speculate that his reason was because he believed he knew UCLA and his role well enough to speak about them off-the-cuff.

This is a common mistake we make going into public speaking opportunities.

We don’t consider how the situation/environment will impact our ability to organize and deliver a clear and effective message.

Regardless of how well you know what you’re talking about, if the public speaking situation/environment triggers your nervous system, your focus will move from your thinking brain to your reptilian brain as you figure out how to manage the perceived threat.

You will struggle to articulate your message, just as Coach Foster did.

In this scenario, having a prepared message — not scripted, but points organized into a logical structure — would allow you to work through that moment of anxiety without losing track of your message, and ultimately the moment.

What’s an example message structure Coach Foster could have used for his opening statement?

👉 What? So What? Now what? 👈

• What: Introduce your main point/conclusion.

• So What: Explain why is your “What” is important for your audience to know/do.

• Now What: Explain what comes next.

This could have been as simple as him writing on a piece of paper:

1. What: We’re finally putting two great emblems together — UCLA and the Big Ten.

2. So What: (a) We’ve won 123 championships (b) Moving into the Big Ten will give us an opportunity to continue competing at the highest level (c) Both our student-athletes and our fans will benefit from the increased visibility the Big Ten provides.

3. Now What: We’re excited for the upcoming season when we can showcase our team’s talent in this great conference.

Boom! A clear and concise message that follows a logical flow.

Even better, this approach doesn’t tell Coach Foster exactly what to say. It reminds him of the points he wants to make, and he gets to choose how to articulate each of them.

The problem is see is that too many people forego preparing a message because they confuse “prepare” with “write a script.”

In my world, those two things are not the same.

In fact, in the seven years I’ve been teaching and coaching this stuff, I’ve only coached one person to script their message.

If I had to prepare a script each time I had a public speaking opportunity, I wouldn’t do it either. It’s time-consuming and, for most of us, doesn’t feel like a natural way to speak.

That’s it, folks.

There’s more I could say about Coach Foster’s speaking, but I’m not going to because they wouldn’t have been an issue if he had come more prepared.

Confidence comes from being prepared. — John Wooden

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it, too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

1/ Three quotes

1. “If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.” ― Vincent van Gogh

2. “Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.” - Colin Powell

3. “If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.” "- Napoleon Hill

2/ Steve Jobs Insult Response

What I’m taking away from this clip:

• “One of the hardest things when you’re trying to affect change …is that …people like this gentleman …are right! …in some areas.”

• “The hardest thing is, how does that fit into a cohesive, larger vision that’s going to allow you to sell 8 billion dollars, 10 billion dollars of product a year.”

• “You’ve got to start with the customer experience and work backwards to the technology. […] It started with, what incredible benefits can we give to the customer? Where can we take the customer? Not starting with ‘let’s sit down with the engineers and figure out what awesome technology we have and then how are we going to market that?’”

3/ Freakonomics Podcast Story

Michael Roberto (business professor at Bryant University) likes to start one of his lectures by giving his students this fictional Shark Tank pitch:

I’d like to open a new kind of grocery store. We’re not going to have any branded items. It’s all going to be private label. We’re going to have no television advertising and no social media whatsoever. We’re never going to have anything on sale. We’re not going to accept coupons. We’ll have no loyalty card. We won’t have a circular that appears in the Sunday newspaper. We’ll have no self-checkout. We won’t have wide aisles or big parking lots. Would you invest in my company?

Hell no!

…but you should. It’s Trader Joe’s.

And at the time of that podcast, Trader Joe’s had the best sales per square foot of any grocery store.

How might you apply the Trader Joe’s approach in your life or work?

Listen to the episode HERE

4/ Work smarter, not harder

5/ How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? Enthusiasm

If you’ve never seen this speech, watch it when you have 11 minutes to spare.

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If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

1. Talk to your audience, not your slides. Practice silence when you need to reference your slides.

2. If your laptop is connected to a projector screen, tip the screen down so you won’t be tempted to look at it. Ideally, you’d take your information from the same place your audience is — i.e., the projector screen. This creates a shared experience.

3. If it’s on your slide, you should talk about it. If you decide to skip over something, explain why.

4. If you can, stand to the left of your slides (from your audience’s perspective). Because we read left to right, you’ll put yourself in the same visual plane as your slides.

5. Always stand near your slides unless you’re walking around to facilitate an activity or discussion. If you move to present from the side or back of the room, you make your audience choose between looking at you or your slides. They want to see both, so don’t make them choose.

6. If possible, avoid standing behind a lectern (unless the mic is attached to it). They cover up most of your body (language) and tend to promote poor presentation delivery behaviors.

7. Guide your audience through your slides verbally and/or physically — “As you can see on the right-hand side…” (o)r gesture in the direction you want your audience to look.

8. If you’re presenting data, tell your audience what they’re looking at before explaining what it means — “Let’s take a look at incidents of hamstring injuries over our past three seasons. The horizontal axis shows the season timeline ranging from pre-season to post-season. The vertical axis shows the number of hamstring injuries, and each season is represented by X colors. Now, let’s talk about what the data is telling us…”

9. Drop verbal breadcrumbs as you present — “We were here… now we’re here… we’re going here next…” This helps your audience hold the thread of logic as they listen to your presentation.

10. Aim to sound interested, not professional. If you sound interested in what you’re talking about, your audience will be motivated to discover what makes it so. Most people who try to sound “professional” sound monotone and uninterested.

Have questions about this list?

Join me tomorrow (Monday, July 22) at 11am PST / 2pm EST on Zoom for a FREE Q&A —> https://fit-to-speak.com/freezoomsession

Click Here to Join

Do you have an upcoming presentation you’d like help preparing for? Let’s chat!

Schedule a Free Discover Call with Jenny

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Jenny

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Paul is the definition of a dynamic communicator.

He tailors his presence, words, and delivery to meet his objectives and the moment's needs.

In the first half of Part 1, we watched Paul coaching from the bench. He was loud and clear with his voice and direct and repetitive with his words.

In the second half of Part 1, we watched Paul speak to his team after the game. His voice was neutral and steady, his body language was composed, and his message was set in the context of the team’s season objectives.

In this post, we’ll evaluate Paul’s off-ice communication skills.

Video #1: Press conference (watch 0:00 - 1:24)

Please watch Paul answer the first question before reading on.

Paul did two things well when answering the question: “…you’ve been a calm influence for the Panthers fans, but now you got a 3-0 lead in the Stanley Cup Final. How are you keeping yourself calm?”

1. He paused before answering.

2. He assertively redirected the question to fit his narrative.

Let’s dig into each.

1/ He paused before answering.

You don’t win a prize for answering questions quickly.

In most cases, it’s better to give a thoughtful answer after a moment of reflection than a haphazard answer immediately after the question is asked.

Paul is a pauser.

If you listen to him in other media interviews, you’ll hear him taking thoughtful pauses before almost every answer.

The pause between the question being asked and your answering has a few benefits:

1. It gives you a moment to consider if you really want to answer the question as it was asked. Especially in media interviews, questions can be leading in nature or framed through assumptions that communicate a narrative you may not agree with.

2. It’s a perception-management technique. You may be perceived as more composed, confident, and articulate — so long as your answer meets your industry’s professional standards.

3. You’ll give a better answer, plain and simple. The pause lets you consider your bottom line, what you’ll say (and not say), and how you’ll organize your response.

But as with most things related to public speaking, it will feel awkward.

Pausing silently in front of others is awkward; there’s no getting around it. But as you practice doing it, you’ll notice a shift in your confidence and will be better received by your audience.

2/ He assertively redirected the question to fit his narrative.

On the surface, this question seemed harmless — even a compliment.

“…a calm influence.”

But after watching it several times, trying to understand why Paul gave such an elaborate response, it slowly made sense.

It seems that Paul is okay with being described as “calm” during interactions outside of a game's competitive window, but he doesn’t want to be described as a “calm” coach.

He could have just taken the question at face value and given a surface-level response — it was a pretty rudimentary question — but he respected the question enough to think about how his answer might impact the public’s perception of him as a coach.

He did this by first establishing context:

I’m probably not as calm as it looks; the feet are flying underneath this table. It hasn’t been a lot of days in here. So, we have to keep this in context — what is it, 11 o’clock in the morning? Yeah, my brain is going to switch pretty hard here in about four hours, and it won’t be conversations and casualness by any means.

He then went on to explain his reasoning behind his “split” personality:

I’ve been selling ‘enjoy your day’ for two years here and probably before that, and I believe it. And I’ve had enough of the other days that aren’t good, that I’m damn well going to enjoy the morning skate on a day like today; I REFUSE not to be in a good mood, and enjoy it. The puck is going to drop and everything changes, right. Your brain gets wired back into what you’re doing. There’s no casualness that’s going to happen tonight. But I should hopefully be fairly relaxed this morning. […]

Instead of blindly accepting the reporter’s label of being “calm,” Paul took time to explain when “calm” works for him and when it doesn’t.

The lesson?

All questions deserve your thoughtful consideration.

Listen for hidden assumptions and how the question is framed, and consider how your answer will alter people’s perception of you.

Video #2: Parade Speech (start at 0:43)

I’m only sharing this to show you how truly dynamic Paul is as a communicator.

I won’t evaluate anything about Paul’s speaking in this video, but pay attention to…

1. His extreme use of profanity

2. The ease with which he flips between controlled crassness and graciousness

And based on the video comments, people love ALL versions of Paul ☺️

Here are a few reflection questions for you to consider:

1. If you made a list of all of your communication “personalities,” what name would you give each of them?

2. Consider the three main audiences you communicate with related to your work — i.e. Team, Parents, Staff, Customers, etc. What three words would you want those audiences to use to describe you when communicating with them? Do those three words differ for each audience?

3. What’s an aspect of your personality you keep hidden from your professional life because it feels inappropriate or underdeveloped?

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

I have four for you today:

1/ A motivational analogy:

The power of analogies can’t be overstated. They’re mini stories, which explains why they’re so memorable and pack a punch (pun intended 😁).

This specific analogy was perfect for this moment because the idea of being a “fireman” in the midst of a “fire” sets the exact (intense and fearless) mindset Teddy wanted Timothy to embody.

"A good analogy is worth three hours discussion." - Dudley Field Malone

2/ Concept: “Left of Boom”

“Left of Boom” is a military/security/risk management concept that refers to the strategies and tactics you might use to prepare for and (ideally) prevent negative events from occurring.

If you imagine the “Boom” on a timeline (“Boom” being the negative event), everything left of the boom is what you do to prepare for or prevent a negative event. Everything “Right of Boom” is what you plan to do in response to the negative event.

Traditionally, the “left of boom” military concept includes preventative measures like:

• Collecting information on potential threats.

• Monitoring areas for signs of enemy activity.

• Disrupting enemy plans before they can be executed.

• Ensuring troops are well-prepared for potential threats.

If you’re a coach, trainer, AT, or PT, what would the “boom” be in your profession? What preventative measures would be included “left of boom” to prepare for or prevent the “boom”?

Maybe you can use this terminology to help frame your team/organization’s planning and response plans related to common adverse events.

3/ Five Quotes

1. “The moment isn’t bigger than me, the moment was made for me.” - Noah Lyles (American Sprinter)

2. “It's tough to be good at something you're not interested in. It's nearly impossible to be great at something you're not obsessed with.” - Shane Parrish

3. “The greatest sign of an ill-regulated mind is to believe things because you wish them to be so.” — Louis Pasteur

4. “Let chaos reign, then rein in chaos.” - Andrew S. Grove (High Output Management)

5. “The working artist will not tolerate trouble in her life because she knows trouble prevents her from doing her work. The working artist banishes from her world all sources of trouble. She harnesses the urge for trouble and transforms it in her work.” - Steven Pressfield (The War of Art)

4/ A lesson on mastering one thing at a time (Peanuts cartoon)

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it, too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny

As of this past week, Paul and his team are the 2023-2024 Stanley Cup champs.

I wasn’t familiar with Paul until recently when I came across a few of his media interviews on YouTube.

Now that I’ve watched multiple clips of him coaching, speaking to his team off the ice, and interacting with the media, I can’t help but think how crucial his communication skills are to his team’s success.

One word that continued to come up for me as I watched Paul was “dynamic.”

When you watch Paul speak, you can see the wheels turning. It’s as if every word is passing through a series of filters. You can almost feel the effort Paul puts into tailoring the content and delivery of his message to the specific needs of the moment and his receiver(s).

I have other videos of Paul saved that I’ll share in Part 2, but for today’s post I’ll focus on one in which he’s mic’d up during and after game 6 of the Eastern Conference Final.

As you watch the 3-minute clip, here’s what I want you to pay attention to:

1. In the first two minutes, Coach Maurice is mic’d up on the bench. Notice the power of his voice and his use of concise and repetitive coaching.

2. Starting at 2:09, Coach Maurice is mic’d up in the locker room after the game. Notice his calm and conversational tone and his ability to deliver a personal and intimate message.

Before we evaluate this clip, check out some of the comments on this video 👇

None of these people in the comments are communication “experts,” yet every one of them has concluded that Paul Maurice is a highly professional, respectable, and deserving coach — i.e. we know effective communication when we see and hear it.

Our tendency to make quick judgments of others is aptly explained by Amy Cuddy and her colleagues Matthew Kohut and John Neffinger:

When we judge others--especially our leaders--we look first at two characteristics: how lovable they are (their warmth, communion, or trustworthiness) and how fearsome they are (their strength, agency, or competence). Although there is some disagreement about the proper labels for the traits, researchers agree that they are the two primary dimensions of social judgment. Why are these traits so important? Because they answer two critical questions: "What are this person's intentions toward me?" and "Is he or she capable of acting on those intentions?" Together, these assessments underlie our emotional and behavioral reactions to other people, groups, and even brands and companies.

WHAT Paul says and HOW he says it leads us perceive him as a person of integrity and a highly competent coach.

Imagine yourself mic’d up at work:

• What would the comments on your YouTube video say?

• How loveable and fearsome are you?

• What specifically do you do that leads people to describe you as loveable or fearsome, or both?

Back to evaluating Paul’s communication.

I loved listening to Paul mic’d up during the game, actively commenting and coaching.

I imagine the on-ice players miss most of what he says, but the bench players benefit greatly from being exposed to Paul’s inner dialogue.

His constant commentary and coaching focuses their attention, encourages them take a broader (strategic) view of the game, and primes them to execute accordingly once they get on the ice.

• “We gotta get on that body, we gotta get on that body when we can even on the PP…”

• “Quicker on the puck, quicker on the puck…”

• “On the body men and stay with the puck, you got one job, do one job…”

This reminds me of an idea shared in Doug Lemov’s book, The Coach’s Guide to Teaching (a must-read for any coach):

Physical downtime or rest time can still be productive cognitively. What if you gave “observation tasks” to the players in the team that was off?

Paul’s active verbal presence is (in a way) giving the players on the bench “observation tasks.”

What about Paul’s technical communication skills?

Paul projects his voice during the game, but not at the cost of clarity. Even though his volume is loud, his words are easy to understand.

This is important because there’s a fine line between projecting your voice and yelling.

To project your voice means to “push” your voice.

That “push” should come from your diaphragm, not your throat. Yelling comes from the throat, which can reduce the clarity of your speech.

As the clip transitions into the locker room, Paul transforms into an entirely different person. His physical presence and speaking go from energetic and commanding to calm and composed.

This contrast between Paul on the ice vs. Paul in the locker room is a perfect representation of what it means to be a dynamic communicator.

Did you notice how engaged Paul’s team was as he spoke to them in the locker room?

Did you also notice how little Paul moved (physically) while speaking to his team?

This is important because many coaches believe that they need to move around while they speak to convey their passion and energy and keep people engaged.

Not true.

Movement on its own doesn’t create engagement.

In fact, too much movement (specifically in the feet and hips) makes it harder for your listeners to follow along with your message because they have to continuously track you with their eyes.

So, how does Paul do it?

What is it about Paul and his speaking that commands the focused attention of his team?

1. His reputation. We listen to people we like and respect. It’s obvious how much respect and trust Paul’s team has for/in him.

2. His composed verbal delivery during a high-energy moment. Most coaches go into the locker room after a big win with big energy to match it. I think this sometimes works against them because it encourages their team to focus on the energy or their feelings more than the message. As soon as Paul starts speaking in a calm and conversational tone, he indirectly communicates to his team that what he’s going to say is serious and worth listening to. This win was important, but the job wasn’t done.

3. His message is personal and intimate — it gave me Ted Lasso vibes. He uses the word “we” a lot, he mentions “courage and brotherhood,” he says “everybody’s important… everybody’s a lead dog,” he compliments them as a unit “your 3rd period was awesome, OUTSTANDING,” and he ends by saying “you’re all *** brilliant and I love every one of ya.” I’d imagine hearing this type of messaging throughout a season builds a strong sense of pride at the team level.

What else did you notice about Paul’s speaking that made it so impactful? I’d love to hear from you in the comments of this post.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

If you enjoyed this post, please hit the ❤️ button and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.

If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.

Thanks for reading!

Jenny