Running Red Lights
What traffic laws can teach us about successful teams, relationships, and business
Where I live, people treat red traffic lights as a suggestion.
Just this week, two cars (late) ran a red light while I was in the crosswalk with my baby and dog on our daily walk.
And since witnessing a handful of cars get t-boned in intersections after moving forward on a green light, I now wait several seconds before cautiously moving into an intersection.
Has it always been this bad, or am I more sensitive to it now that I have children?
Whatever the reason, it got me thinking about how important obeying traffic laws is to the basic functioning of our society and our ability to trust our fellow humans.
When we can’t trust other drivers to follow the basic rules of the road, we lose an important sense of security and, out of necessity, move toward a place of self-protection rather than contribution.
Here’s how the logic plays out for me…
If I can’t trust you to stop at a red light, I assume you either value your life more than mine or you don’t value “life” at all.
If you don’t value my life, I need to behave in ways that protect my life above all else.
These self-protective behaviors will increase the stress I feel while driving and will make me a more selfish driver than I’d like to be.
Now, when I drive, I’ll inevitably care less about your life because I need to be hypervigilent about protecting my own.
And if enough of us feel like this, we stunt the effectiveness of our traffic laws “system” and the efficiencies it was designed to create.
As I spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about people running red lights, I asked myself an important question: “Jenny, why are you spending a ridiculous amount of time thinking about people running red lights?”
My answer: “Because this same problem exists elsewhere.”
And that, folks, is how an analogy is born.
An obvious example is sports teams.
Like society, sports teams operate within a system, and the integrity and success of that system depends on two things*:
The people operating in the system know and honor its “laws.”
There are enforced consequences for people who break those “laws.”
*Yes, I’ve drastically oversimplified how systems work for the sake of this post.
Imagine you’re a member of a sports team.
A “law” on your team is that you must show up to practice on time, and a consequence of breaking that law is that you don’t get to play in the first half of your next game.
So, when you show up late to practice on Tuesday, your coach reminds you that you won’t be playing in the first half of the game this Friday.
But what happens when your coach disobeys the system and decides to start you on Friday because it’s a playoff game and you’re the team’s star player?
The system loses its integrity and becomes ineffective.
The other team members see first-hand that their previous choices and efforts to protect their team’s system — a system they were told would help make their team successful — were in vain.
“Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one.” - Sam Rayburn
They lose their sense of security and move toward a place of self-protection rather than contribution — just like we do when we see our fellow humans breaking traffic laws without consequence.
A group of people who are supposed to be self-sacrificing toward a team goal are now hesitating to act, or worse, begin acting in ways that serve themselves above their team.
Nobody wins.
As I write this, two thoughts are coming to mind:
Where else are important systems undermined?
What can you do with this information?
Let’s start with number one: Where else are important systems undermined?
What “running a red light” looks like…
On a team:
Showing up late to a practice, meeting, etc.
Skipping reps or exercises during training (sports team).
Not completing an ‘assignment’ by the date you committed to.
Showing up to an important game or meeting unprepared.
Gossiping about your coach, leader, or teammates.
Choosing not to celebrate the efforts/accomplishments of a teammate with whom you’re in active competition.
Being selective with your effort — only exerting effort when you “feel like it.”
During important conversations:
Name-calling.
Dismissing (instead of validating) the other person’s feelings — especially the ones you disagree with.
Unnecessarily interrupting the other person.
Resurfacing past (resolved) issues to “build your case.”
Attacking someone’s character versus sharing observations about their behavior.
Using a line of questioning that “leads” the other person to a planned, self-serving outcome.
In our business interactions (including on social media):
Making false or inflated claims.
Identifying as a self-proclaimed “expert.”
Disguising a personal opinion as an evidence-backed fact.
Profiting off of a trusted audience without revealing conflicts of interest.
Communicating indirectly or using vague/obscure words.
Preying on self-doubting and fearful buyers.
We see these things happen daily, yet many of them go unchecked.
Moving on to number two: What can you do with this information?
I see multiple applications depending on your context.
Here’s what’s crossed my mind:
If you’re a coach, you might use “running red lights” as an analogy to help your players/staff/parents understand why team “laws” need to be followed and enforced.
If you’re a coach, you might choose to publish your team “laws” in writing so they’re more easily followed and enforced.
If you’re a team member, you might consider the written and unwritten “laws” of your team system and reflect on how your behavior undermines or reinforces those “laws.”
If you’re a team member who operates in a system where the “laws” are continually broken without consequence, you might consider joining a new team — because it’s likely your potential is being stifled by your lack of security in that system.
If you’re a trainer or health practitioner, you might reflect on the written and unwritten “laws” of your client relationships and how your behavior undermines or reinforces those “laws.”
If you’re a trainer or health practitioner, you might consider the content you post online. Are you creating unnecessary fear, doubt, scarcity, etc. in an environment where (trusting) people are coming to you for guidance?
Considering your own circumstances, how can you apply the “running red lights” analogy?
In closing
We need “systems” and “laws.” They empower groups of people to work efficiently and increase their likelihood of success.
They also allow people to contribute selflessly, without fear.
But for systems to work, the people operating in them need to know and honor their “laws,” and when those “laws” are broken, consequences need to be enforced.
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If you’re interested in working together or bringing communication training to your team, let’s talk.
Thanks for reading!
Jenny